The text below is an account of my dealings with Cable and Wireless between September 1998 and January 1999. Since then I have heard nothing from them - except my regular phone bills. I gave up trying to get them to pay attention to my complaints about them. It was just too much effort.

Then, about 3 days ago, in December 1999, over a year after most of this happened, I got a phone call at home. I answered the phone. Someone said "Are you the person who pays the phone bills?". That sounded like a strange question to me, but I said I was.

The man on the phone said he was from Cable and Wireless. He apologised for not knowing my name, but said that "the system" didn't include the names of customers. Then he asked me if I had ever considered cable TV.

I don't think I was abusive or aggressive to him - after all it isn't his fault. But he put the phone down pretty quickly when I started telling him that I had considered it, and why I wasn't goping to try to order it again. How can a company be so useless?

By the way, the bills do have my name on. And my address. Funny, that.

On the 12th of September 1998 I moved out of the flat I had rented for the previous 5 years and back into my own flat, just round the corner. The people who had been living there in the meantime (my ex wife and her new husband, for what it's worth) were moving into another house only a few hundred metres away. All three places were connected to telephone and cable TV services by Cable and Wireless, so we assumed that it would be possible for us both to keep our existing phone numbers and for me to have cable TV - which is neccessary for good reception because the flat is adjacent to a mainline railway (think Eraserhead) and the broadcast signal breaks up every time an electric train goes by. Which is 16 times an hour in each direction in the rush hour.

I phoned the Cable and Wireless number on my most recent bill, on, I think, the 9th of September to say that I would be moving. I asked for my phone number to be transferred to the new place. I had to talk to 4 separate people in C&W, one of whom, when I told them my account number and phone number said "Oh! Is that one of ours?". That was typical of the next few weeks dealings with the company.

When I finally got through to the correct desk (& no, I don't remember who I talked to, or the exact time of the call - I didn't at that time think that it would be useful to write down such things) I also asked for Cable TV to be installed and was told that this could not be done till the 25th September. I asked if the work could be done during a weekend and was told that this was not possible. Of course I had to go through another rigmarole to identify myself because, apparently, the account number on my C&W bills was an "old" account number and the new ones were different, and the sales desk people had different information from whoever I talked to about the transfer.

But at that stage I was quite satisfied. I hadn't given a great deal of notice, but they said they could get the phone fixed within a week, and the TV installed about 2 weeks later, which (I thought) was par for the course.

The previous occupants of the flat (i.e. my ex wife and her new husband) had an existing Cable and Wireless phone line and had asked to keep their number at their new house. However, the telephone in the flat was still active on their number when I moved in, so I would have been able to place calls on their bill. They had been told that for some technobabble reason to do with emergency calls their phone number could not be transferred to the new address immediately - although they had requested the transfer well in advance. I don't see why this meant that the number couldn't be removed from the line in the flat, but it wasn't. I received calls made to their number up to at least Tuesday 15th September (and for all I know Thursday 17th - I didn't connect my answerphone). So for at least 4 days and possibly 6 days I was receiving phone calls intended for my ex wife and. So much for customer's privacy.

On the 15th September I received a letter saying that the new number would be added on the 17th. On the 17th my phone stopped working and the phone at the other people's house was set up with their number. However the phone in my flat did not start working again.

I phoned C&W's customer services line on the 18th (from my ex-wife's phone), and after the usual experience of being passed around from desk to desk and identifying myself with full details of my name and address, I was told BOTH that the work had been done and, by someone else, that the work could not be done because my address didn't exist! Also I was told that the engineers would need access to my flat. I have no idea why this should be since there was a line into the house already, the phone had been working until they disconnected it out in the street, as far as I knew all they needed was to reconnect it, all the work that needed to be done was outside my property. This had never been mentioned before and I had assumed that the phone could be activated and the number could be changed without me being present.

I wasn't able to get in touch with C&W again till the 22nd - after all I had no phone at home and I had been sick and unable to get to work to call from there. On the 22nd I was told that the phone would be turned on on the 24th September, in the afternoon, and the cable TV installed on the 25th, in the morning.

I asked if the work could be done on the same day, and was told that this was not possible.

I asked if the work could be done at a weekend, as was told that this was not possible.

I asked if the phone could be fixed without me being at home, and was told that this was not possible.

I asked if the phone could be installed in the morning, enabling me to go to work afterwards and get half a day's work in, and I was told that this was not possible, that the order had been "forced through" and that if it was to be rescheduled it would have to wait for next week. The general impression was that the work was being done as a special favour to me and that if I rocked the boat it would be further postponed.

On Wednesday the 23rd someone from C&W phoned me at work, and confirmed that I had an appointment for cable TV to be installed on Friday morning.

On Thursday I had to take my daughter to school so I only managed to get to work for 2 1/2 hours. During that time I got a call from C&W, to my work number, asking if I was at home. Apparently the engineer was already there, even though the appointment was for the afternoon. I heard some sharp woprds pass between two C&W people ("Why are you there?" "I'm here because I'm here." "What does it say on the order?" "AM" "So why am I talking to this customer then?") and was then told that the engineer would be at my place in the afternoon.

I went back home, the man came round, as I expected all he did was stick something into the socket to check that it was live, I got a dial tone and he gave me an order sheet to sign. There was nothing that would have required me to take the afternoon off work.

Then I noticed that the order was for "line card 0181-3559263". The engineer told me that that was my new phone number. But I had asked to keep 4734300 - which I assumed was technically possible because the same line had been 4734940 till a few days earlier, and I had been told, twice, that it would be done. He checked the number, found it to be 3559263, and advised me to call customer services and see what had happened.

I phoned, reported the problem, and was asked to wait. Someone called back a few minutes later, and I was told that both numbers were listed as mine. I asked if my line could be changed back to 4734300. I was told that they would call back later. I also confirmed, yet again, that I had an order for cable TV installation on Friday morning. Nobody called back.

On Friday 25th September I waited from 0900 to 1200, nobody came. I phoned customer services again. (This time I used the customer number on the work order - 604240948 - to identify myself. She said that it wasn't a valid account number, so I had to go through all business of address and postcode, to be told that I should have used the account number 604240958, which differs by one digit from the number on the work order! Perhaps C&W ned to hire some database designers or systems analysts).

They said that the order was for the afternoon, and that someone would be coming round between 1200 and 1730. I asked them to check and they said that was the case. I then asked, again, if my phone could be changed back to 473 4300. I was told that there was a problem with the switch - they had run out of Mercury cards and had to give me another sort (Nokia I think, I didn't write it down) but that it could be changed some time in the future.

This time they did call back and said that the number would be changed "sometime within the next 10 days". This was on the 25th September, so I assumed that the phone would remain active on the wrong number until the 5th October at the latest, and then be transferred to the correct number. Nothing was said about having to make any kind of appointment with anybody, or having to allow access to my house. It was implied that the work would be done by C&W on their premises.

At 1700 on Friday nobody had turned up to install cable TV. I picked up the phone handset to phone Customer Services again. No dial tone. I'd been sitting about for 8 hours, not even going to the bloody toilet in case someone came round and I had to let them in and no-one had come and they have disconnected my bloody telephone again!

I had not yet been angry since I came across Cable and Wireless. Up to that point I had been bored and fed up with the service received from Cable and Wireless. I also found it slightly amusing. Such incompetence is hard to sustain. But now I began to get angry.

It's now 1730 on Friday 25th September, the phone still doesn't work, nobody has come round to install cable TV, and I have taken one and a half days off my work in order that a C&W employee could do 15 minutes work. I needed to go to the bank today - I haven't managed it. I need to go to my college library in central London - I haven't managed to get there yet. I could have gone to work and saved myself a day's holiday, or a day's wages. I haven't been able to do that. And all that had happened is I still have no cable TV and I once again have no phone.

All that was written on Friday 25th September. The phone did not start working again.

The next day I received a copy of a bill from C&W, dated on the 23rd September, for line rental between the 15th September and 4th October (a period when I had no phone line) and bearing the note

"Our records show that your services have been disconnected. We now require immediate payment of the outstanding balance"

The bill was sent out from:

Of course it has the compulsory line

"At Cable and Wireless we are totally commited to customer service and we endeavour to resolve complaints satisfactorily. If you have a complaint please contact Cable and Wireless Customer Services at the telephone number or address above".

Now I had a complaint, not just an order. Of course I was not able to phone C&W on Saturday or Sunday because my phone didn't work.

I called from work with the complaint. After the usual hassle a very nice sounding lady told me that they would pay compensation - ten pounds off my bill. I told her that that was not enough but I would be contacting C&W about proper compensation after the phone was working. No, and I don't know who she was. I still at that time did not realise that it would be useful to keep a written record of dealings with C&W.

It was arranged that cable TV could be installed on Saturday 10th October. A totally different story than the previous one - everyone had always insisted that no work could be done at the weekend.

I still assumed that someone would fix my phone, thinking that the work was scheduled and that I did not have to intervene in any way to make it happen.

Nothing had happened by the 5th October, the 10 days I'd been told would be the maximum wait. Well, something had happened. I got a letter apparently from:

It said:

"We recently sent you an agreement for connection to Cable & Wireless services and note that we have not yet received back the signed agreement.

We write to remind you to please sign and return the agreement without delay to ensure your eligibility for any future promotions and special offers."

Maybe it was someone's idea of a joke.

I phoned Customer Services again on the 5th of October, and was told that the phone could be fixed that day but they would need access. I was at work and unable to go home. They said that the engineers would try to fix the fault externally, and if they couldn't fix they would leave a note in my door.

The phone wasn't fixed and there was no note.

I called again on the 6th and was told they would phone me back within 40 minutes. Nobody called back.

I phoned again on the 8th, around 1400. I explained that I wanted my old number back but that I also wanted the phone to work, on either number. I was told that the lack of a phone service should be considered a "fault" rather than a customer services matter; the person I was talking to then called the faults department, putting me on hold, and aftrer a while I and was told that they could fix the phone externally "within 2 hours" and that they would not need access to my flat, and if there was a problem they would leave a note in my door. I left work early that day, was back home by 1600, and nothing had changed. The phone still didn't work. There was no note. No-one came round.

On the 9th October a voice mail message was left on my phone at work saying that someone would come round to my house between 0830 and 1230 on Saturday 10th. I assume this was meant to be for cable TV - they didn't say what it was about, but I had already arranged an appointment for the cable TV on the 10th October. I'm writing this at 14:20 on the 10th and no-one has been round yet.

I phoned 01812441111 again on Friday 9th October. This time I pressed "2" to get transferred to the fault line rather then "3" for customer services, and received a recorded message saying that I should have called 08000681374. I was then automatically transferred to a number that was engaged.

I phoned 08000681374 8 times on Friday morning (I counted - by this time I was taking a written note of what was going on). Engaged 8 times. The 9th call got through, at 11:36, and I was put into a queue. At 11:56 the phone was answered, by someone calling themselves "Mike". He was very helpful and sympathetic, seemed genuinely upset at all the trouble I had gone through (if a bit hassled himself) and said that the problem was "being handled by a certain department" and he would investigate.

He called me back at 12:02 and we talked for about 10 minutes. He said that there was a "number port problem", that the original people who were working on it should have contacted BT or Mercury who 'owned' the number to get clearance to transfer it (I thought Mercury was now owned by C&W, and I'm also pretty sure that it was not a BT number because it had been originally obtained (along with cable TV) from Videotron, one of the predeccessor companies to C&W). Mike said that someone would call me back within an hour, but I could contact him on extension 2462 if there were further problems.

No-one phoned me so I called again at 14:37, got put through to Mike who said that Customer Services would talk to me. After some time on hold I was passed across to them at about 1500. Someone called Jonathan was put through and said he'd look at the record for my orders to see what was happening. After a few minutes he said that I should have been talking to someone else. Apparently my account was "with a different franchise" and he didn't have access to change the record, although he could inspect them. And that I should have phoned 0181 244 1111. Which is where I had started, 4 hours earlier.

I was put through to someone called Adam, around 1509. He said that they were "dealing with it now", they would try and connect me to the exchange on the right number if possible or the other one if not, and I should "call back if there is any problem with it."

At 1528 someone from C&W, apparently at a "National Fault Centre" at Bellshill, phoned me at work and left a message saying that the phone would be online again today (i.e. Friday 9th October) but they weren't sure exactly when.

I'm writing this on the 10th, almost 24 hours later. There is still no phone service and no cable TV. I've been waiting for them all morning. I need to go out shopping sometime. Will they come round while I am out?

Next week, back at work, I called 2441111 again. This time it was only engaged 3 times and I got through on the fourth, talking to someone called Dawn

I had two matters to raise.

First, why had no-one come to my flat to install cable TV on the 10th of October. This was the second missed appointment. Dawn said that she would contact the "installations department" and get them to call me back. I gave my work phone number. Of course, nobody ever called back.

Second, why didn't my telephone work? She said that this was a faults issue, not an installation issue. I was put on hold while she contacted faults. When I got through to someone from the fault centre - who of course had no idea whatsoever of the previous history of all this - I had to go through all my details again, and then say that I had no dial tone. He put me on hold to "check the number". He said "that doesn't come up on our system, I'll have to check with engineering... I need to pass this through to the engineers".

After a few minutes there was "no reason why that shouldn't work"

They called back about 3 hours later. Someone called "Brian" had been trying to fix my problem but couldn't find my house. I gave directions to the place (it's not visible from the road) and he went off again.

I called on the 20th to confirm the appointment for the 21st. Quite separately someone had left a voicemail message for me at work, (at 7:52 on the 19th) confirming the appointment, for the morning.

On the 21st my daughter and I got up before 08:30 and waited for the people to install cable TV. And we waited, and we waited and we waited. Nobody came. What a surprise.

At about 13:00 I phoned the customer service line again. I got through to someone called something like Donal. He said that a crew had been assigned, that the call record did have a note of exactly how to get to my flat, so they were unlikely to be lost, and that he didn't know when they would arrive. Som etimes they run late, he said. He advised me that if they didn't turn up by the end of the day I should 'phone Customer Services again on Sunday to discuss it. Apparently most people don't know that Customer Services are open on Sunday and Sunday the least busy day of the week, but Saturday is the busiest day of the week, and he made it really obvious that I really ought not to be talking to him on a Saturday. Especially since there was nothing he could do, and nothing he could tell me.

We waited till 1700 and then gave up our ideas about getting cable TV from Cable and Wireless. They are obviously incapable of installing it. Three times I've made an appointment with them, three times I've waited in all day, three times they have failed to come, three times no-one got back to me to either apologise or explain, three times their help desk has been unable to tell me why no-one came, three times their help desk has been unable to get anyone to take any notice.

I didn't phone on Sunday either. Calling Customer Services has no effect. They simply aren't able to arrange for the installers to come round, never mind getting an explanation or an apology from them. For all I know there may be some perfectly reasonable explanation for each of the three missed appointments. But no-one I can reach by phone seems able to find anyone who would know it.

I have to add that everyone I have actually talked to or met at C&W has been (apparently) helpful and polite. It's just that they all seem completely powerless to actually do anything, ignorant of the way the company works, and totally unable to get either phone lines or cable TV installed in my flat. I have a strong impression that I am dealing with well-meaning, hard-working staff who are trapped in a corporate beauraucracy that is impossible to navigate.

What we're seeing here is plain and simple a complete failure of managment. There is no case history, no state information on a problem kept from one phone call to the next. There is no consistent source of information about the customer - they seem to have more than one customer database with different account codes & one customer (i.e. me) can appear in different places. There is a complete lack of communication between different offices and departments. They were sending mail to me at my old address from one department 2 weeks after another one was talking to my new address. The Customer Services people seem to have no way to talk to the engineers or installers. Worst of all no-one there follows anything up. No-one checks that work has been done, no-one apologises or explains if it hasn't - even if they say they will . Nothing is ever initiated, or even continued by them. Every interaction between them and the customer has to be driven by the customer.

At work, I'm part of a department that spends about 5 million US dollars a year on telecoms. When I told our voice phone buyer person this story he just laughed and said "serves you right for using a crap phone company then". We do business with AT&T, BT, Sprint, MCI and who knows how many telecoms providers. Apparently Cable and Wireless are the third biggest international carrier in the world. Maybe their international operation is less crap than their domestic British one. If it isn't it is hard to see them retaining their market position for long.

After the events described I tried to get some explanation or recompense out of Cable and Wireless. I gave up 'phoning - it did no good - and wrote to them asking for an apology and some compensation. After some while I got a letter back, from a David Ritchie of the Customer Service Department at 1 Dove Wynd, Strathclyde Business Park, Bellshill, Lanarkshire M14 3AL.